Getting drugs was never so simple

My niece drew this picture. I believe it was for a drug awareness poster contest type-thing at her elementary school.

 

You’re dying because you’re bad.

I heard about this kid named Noah, who lived somewhere on the other side of the country who was dying from cancer. (This could have been fake, I really don’t know.) The kid’s Christmas wish was to get a million Christmas cards or something. (I forget the details.) So I asked the kids at work to make Christmas cards for him. I sent all of them except one. This one.

 

Good start, right? Well…

Yeah.

 

My name is Crasy

This is another oldie, but goodie. This was found at work and I think it speaks for itself.

I’ve always wondered if he meant for his girlfriend’s name to be “dodo” like the bird or “do do” like poop. Knowing the kid, he probably meant poop.

 

Excuse me, I have a cwostshon

How do you spell “question”?

I have become pretty good at reading little kid spelling. I think it comes from all the time I spend on Facebook.

 

Insurance

A few of the kids set up their own little play business one day. It was an insurance company. I have no idea why they wanted to run an insurance company or how they think insurance works, but they let me borrow their pricing guide for a quick picture.

They have great deals on “college” and “mansion” insurance. Better get some before it sells out forever…like coffee insurance.

 

Alien Snowbot

This picture was left behind at work. I walked by it a dozen times before I stopped to look at it. I think the title at the top of the picture speaks for itself.

 

Not so merry Christmas

A woman comes home to find out that someone has been murdered in her front yard. The police came, made a chalk outline, but forgot to take the body…so she decided to throw snowballs and forget about it. I suspect the man in the doorway is the killer.

 

Oragommees 101

One of the 2nd graders at work gave me these instructions on how to make “Oragommees” aka Origami. It’s very simple. Just follow the directions! Fold. Open. Fold. Fold. Fold. Fold. Open. Fold. Fold. Fold. Fold. Fold. Fold. Fold. Pretty simple, huh?

 

Poop Bottle

Where:    Summer camp

Who:    Matt — innocent
Eric — dare maker
Greg — dare taker
*all three boys were going into 6th grade

Matt notices two boys, Eric & Greg, take his large, thermos type (not clear) water bottle into the bathroom. When they come back Matt opens his water bottle to find that one of the boys pooped in it.

Eric & Greg are sent to the office, the site supervisor asks why Greg pooped in Matt’s water bottle. Greg says, “well, Eric dared me to.” The supervisor asks Eric, “why did you dare Greg to do that?!” and Eric says, “I didn’t think he was dumb enought to actually do it!!”

 

Read carefully…

We found this at work recently. I can’t believe the teacher hung this up without any proofreading. Look closely…

Buttfingers.