Today at work, I was playing music on my iPod. Then the following conversation took place…
Kid: Why don’t you ever play any action music?
Me: What is “action music”?
Kid: Um…like…it’s like…::BURP!:: like…um…like….
And then he walked away.
work of art
This work of art was found at work. I have no idea who painted it. I believe it is a Voodoo Witch casting a love spell. I mean…what else could it be?
make believe
Remember as a kid, you’d play different make believe games? Like “house” or “school” or have a imaginary store where you’d sell imaginary things? Yes. Me too. But what kind of imaginary world do kids in 2011 create? Well…
yeah.
spongebob drunk pants.
I found this picture on the floor at work a few weeks ago. I….um….yeah. I don’t even know.
Yes, that is a beer bottle in Spongebob’s hand. Yes, it says, “just give them beer!” and also “drunk” with an arrow pointing at the jellyfrish. Oh, and they drew some hairy genitalia.
mario comics pt. 1
I found this at work. Then a few days later I found another “Mario” comic. And then another. Someday I will find the genius behind these.
“Mario Goes to Get A Haircut”
Not knowing that his hair cutter is his arch nemesis…
Your mom is a gorilla, part 3
The final chapter.
This is the letter home written by the 4th grade boy that was involved.
I like that he went back to interject that he did, in fact, call Julie’s parents dumb. And come on, he didn’t push her. He touched her back and she fell of her own accord.
Your mom is a gorilla, part 2
This letter is describing the same situation as the last post. Much more readable. Also written by a 5th grader. No translation necessary.
Your mom is a gorilla, part 1
This story was documented in three parts. I will post the other two letters home later this week. This is the same child that wrote the letter home in my previous post. She was in 5th grade at the time. I will be posting a translation again because it’s practically gibberish, but I recommend trying to read the original letter first.
First I called Reggie’s mom a gorilla. Then he called my mom one. So I called his mom one again. So he comes up the slide to strangle me and he bent me over the rail of the slide. So Julie kicks him then he lets go of me and come after me. He catch up to me and throws me against the mulch. Julie helps me up. I run to Lauren. We talk all three of us. Then I told them that he was strangling me. Reggie pushes me against the mulch again right in front of Lauren. Then Jim talks to us. No we are talking to Rosemary Cross.
Me
A letter home
Sometimes when the kids get in trouble we have them write letters to their parents explaining what they did wrong. Sometimes we used pre-printed letters that started out “I am a good kid, but today I had a bad day. Here’s what happened…” This is a letter home (not the pre-printed kind) and I thought I should translate it since the 5th grader that wrote it was pretty much the worst at spelling. Ever.
Dear Home,
I am writing this letter because I went to the bathroom and no one knew about it. Then I sat on time out and Rosemary Cross told me three times to stop talking and now I am writing this letter.
From Me
Run away Frankenstein
This was found at work. We didn’t know who colored it or wrote the message, but we counted the kids on Monday and they all showed up, so they totally bailed on their “runing away” plan. Quitter.
A translation for those who don’t read “kid”…
To sister and dad,
I’m leaving. I’m running away. You don’t love me.
